Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

At night I stroke the cheeks of my young children, Matthew, Elizabeth, Sophia.  I caress their small hands and pray that God protect them.  Maybe, Matthew especially.  His daddy was a sailor in a time, like now, when we had enemies.  I know that Matthew will feel a sense of obligation also to serve.  I pray that if he chooses that road that God will preserve him and will care for that small boy's gentle hands. Those hands that will someday grow into the hands of a man.

On January 11, 2007, the President of the United States awarded the Medal of Honor, our nation's highest military award, to Marine Corporal Jason Dunham.  It was awarded posthumously.   Corporal Dunham had thrown himself on a grenade to save the lives of his fellow marines.

How easy it is to let that story pass our consciousness.  The story of a soldier throwing himself on a grenade is a story that we have heard before.  It is almost cliché.

In 2004, Corporal Dunham's enlistment had ended.  He was authorized to return home and even leave the military.  But 22 year old Jason Dunham voluntarily extended his enlistment with the US Marines.   He volunteered to spend more time in Iraq.  He could not bring himself to leave his fellow Marines behind while they remained in harm's way.

On April 14, 2004, Jason Dunham was leading a patrol that stopped a convey of cars that was leaving the scene of an ambush of US Marines.  A black clad figure leapt out of one of the cars and attacked the patrol.  Corporal Dunham engaged the figure in hand to hand combat.  The black clad figure dropped a grenade amongst the Marines.

Instantly, Jason Dunham, a young man from Scio, New York (population 1,876), threw himself on the grenade. 

Even though Corporal Dunham's reaction was instant, the decision was not.  No. It is not in our nature to throw ourselves on a grenade.  Our every physical instinct is to flee danger.  To throw yourself on a grenade requires deliberate foresight. There is no time to consider the issue when the grenade is thrown.  This is a rule broadly applicable in life.  If you wait to make decision in the moment of adversity, you will follow instinct and fail yourself.

Long before that grenade was thrown, Jason Dunham had resolved himself that if a sacrifice was needed, that he would lay his life down for his friends.  And when the time came, Jason shouted to his friends, removed his helmet, covered helmet and grenade with his body, and Jason Dunham died.   

How easy it is to take for granted the price that has been paid for us. 

Just over 2,000 years ago a man who was also in the nature of God prayed in a garden.  He sweated droplets of blood, resolving himself to save his beloved through his agony and death, and then he was taken away and crucified.  He died upon a cross.

In that act, the messiah saved us, you, me, and our children.  God almighty sent his son to die for my son.  A sacrifice was made that I can not grasp.

I stroke the small hands of my children at night and I pray with them.  I pray in hope and I pray in gratitude for the sacrifice that was made.

Now I lay me down to sleep,  I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

Be Blessed.

"Look at me, Daddy! Look at me!"

I hear it often from my children as they dance with their arms in the air, or jump or play. I love to hear them and to watch them. Despite the repetition, their need for attention really doesn't try my patience.

But why do they do that? Why are they so insistent that Julia and I watch them as they carry on their antics? I have thought about this and have decided that they cry out for validation. After all, what fun is it to explore the joys of life alone? Sharing validates these discreet moments. We are reciprocal creatures and like the interaction involved in a shared experience.

This need doesn't stop when we become adults. It is much more enjoyable to share an excellent dinner than it is to eat it alone. After the meal, we look at one another and express how much we enjoyed it. We await a response. Maybe our dinner companion will say, "Yes, it was the best dinner of the year!" Or maybe, our companion will say, "It was only pretty good." Either way, the experience is shared, the thoughts are refined and the moment is validated.

Sometimes, when bad things happen, we withhold that experience from those around us. We conceal it, because once the trauma or fear is expressed, there is a reciprocal moment that is shared. The difficulty becomes more real when it is validated by the shared experience of others.

Reciprocity is in our nature. I encourage you (and myself) to share the Joys, the fears, the troubles with those who love us. Validate your experiences and the life that you have been given through sharing.

I've always dismissed the seemingly trite question, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Funny. That question isn't about sound at all. It is about validation. A lonely tree, though it may have lived for decades and decades, that falls alone has no meaning. What value is an experience or, for that matter, a life, unshared? It fails validation. It is a tree falling with no one to hear.

God could have created light without mankind. Light would still have been light. But where would be the reciprocity? Who would enjoy it or even recognize it? God could have made simple animals to live and die in the light. But where would be the reciprocity? God made mankind "in his own image." That is a great "why" of Christian thought. Why did God create us in his nature? Validation? After all, what fun is it to an artist to create without an audience?

But, it doesn't end there. We are not just an audience to the grandeur of God. We have been created to have a fully matured relationship with God. A relationship in which we enjoy and receive the blessings of God. But one where God enjoys us, too. Share your triumphs and failures, all of the joys of life with your loved ones and with your God. You will find favor in his eyes.

"Look at me, Daddy! Look at me!"

3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning--the first day.

Genesis 1: 3-5

27 So God created man in his own image, 
in the image of God he created him; 
male and female he created them.

Genesis 1: 27

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him; 
he makes his covenant known to them. 

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD, 
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, 
for I am lonely and afflicted.

Psalm 25: 14-16

Be Blessed.

We have recently purchased and moved to 32 acres of farm land near Lebanon, Ohio. I have been planting some trees. There are two Norwegian Spruces and a Maple Tree behind the House and a White Oak Tree that I have planted in front of the house.

I know that even if I live to be 100, I will never see the Oak fully mature. I intend to plant more in the coming months. Decades and decades from now, I hope that people will be blessed by thick, huge, magnificent trees. I know that I have been blessed by the plantings of others.

Every night, I lay down beside my children, one at a time. I stroke their hair, and they cuddle into my arms. We talk about all of the details of their day. That is very good time together. It is very individual. They each know that they get their own time to talk to daddy who takes interest in all of the things that they do during the day. Letting them know that they are special and loved is an important part of the ritual. But that isn't the only reason that I take that time at night with them. I also want to teach them to remember. I want them to make an effort to recall the events of the day and to put those events in context. I want them to learn how to express their thoughts on the day's occurrences and activities. As they think about the day's events, they scrunch up their foreheads or roll their eyes as they recall and think.

Like with the trees, I know that even if I live to be 100, I will never see these little children fully mature. But I hope that that people will be blessed by them and that they will grow to understand and appreciate the joys of the life that God has given to them.

Within a week after we planted the White Oak Tree in the front yard, its leaves turned brown and fell off. I was afraid that we had lost the tree. It was miserable. We had no rain, the days were blisteringly hot, and the tree stood alone without shade or relief. But we stayed at it and kept watering the tree, day after day.

This week, the White Oak Tree has come back into bud. New leaves are springing forth all over the tree. It was a close thing, but I think that it is going to make it. We're certainly not going to give up on it. I touch its bark and its tender, flexible branches. They feel healthy.

The children place their hands into mine. They have small perfectly shaped, delicate fingers. Matthew was weaving shapes in the air with his hands and arms tonight just for the joy of life. I've seen Elizabeth do the same. I love the health of their spirits. As I grow older, I recognize that my role is to reach from the hands of my parents to the hands of my children. And their role will be to reach from my hands to the hands of their children; to nurture and to grow, to bless one generation and the next, to love and to be loved.

I want them to remember, to see back and think about the whole of their lives, to find their context and to mature. I also want them to be watered well enough to withstand the droughts of life.

1 There is a time for everything, 
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die, 
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up, 
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate, 
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil--this is the gift of God.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13

Be Blessed.

JDS

On three occasions, I have had physicians somberly, even gravely break "The News" to me that I have cancer. Though they didn't tell me at the time, the first time they did so, they marked my prognosis as "Poor." (Here I am 26 years after that first diagnosis, though.)

By any measure, when "The News" is broken, these are not easy times for either you (the patient) or for your family. It's ok to feel sad or frightened. It's ok for your family to feel sad or frightened. There are a lot of questions or fears that you may not even know that you have that make matters even more difficult. You may have concerns such as:

1. Will I be able to survive this?
2. Will I be able to have a normal life?
3. Will I be able to take care of my family?
4. Will I be able to work and make a living?
5. Will I be able to afford the care and treatment?
6. Will I lose my hair?
7. Will it hurt?
8. How will it affect my long term health?
9. I don't want to be dependent on others.
10. If I die, what will happen to my family?

This time period is like seeing sunset early in the day.

It's ok to have some fears. Please, ask your doctor the questions for which you need answers. Write them out as they come to you. If you don't ask, you will live in a fog of insecurity. Your future and options will be just beyond your sight. Make sure you have the answers you need to clarify your future. Many Oncologists have support groups or mentors that are available to help you understand what is to come. Use them.

Talk your fears over with your spouse, adult children and friends. They will have concerns of their own. Don't exclude them from yourself. That is a two way road. If you try to protect them through exclusion, realize that you will be isolating them as well. Rely on one another. Don't isolate one another. You can't protect your loved ones from this, but you can involve yourselves together. The binding of that involvement is one of the blessings that come after "The News."

In the meantime, recognize that God is not through with you yet. He has a plan for you. And He will comfort you.

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and 
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come 
and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me 
with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29: 11-13)

Pride and efforts to handle matters alone interfere with our efforts to seek God "with all of your heart." These things are more easily stripped away after you get "The News." God will listen to you. He hears your cries. Though we too often resist, He draws us closer. Do not despair. You are not alone.

8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 
9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 
(2 Corinthians 4: 8-9)

"I have some bad news. It's cancer."

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it is happening to you.

Take the time you need.

But, pressed though you may be, do not fall. Work through your hurt, confusion, and anger.

Though it is dark today, you will find the daylight.

You have purpose, you have life, you have promises. Rely on those who love you, and let them rely on you. Reach out to the Lord Your God and, with strength that is not your own, stand.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit(Psalm 34:18, NLT)

Be blessed.

The world that God created for us is fallen. There is sickness, heartache and death. But this is still the world that God created for us to live in. It is beautiful and holds the promise of creation. Make every task, every relationship, every opportunity a "Moment." Each is fleeting, each is eternal. The same is true of our lives. Cancer or not, we are mortal. Live in this world that God created for you and thank him for it. Even in times of hardship, this is a beautiful world. The opportunities that we are given are grand. Maybe I wanted the color of excellent health in my pallet. Instead, God has given me the color of cancer. But I still have the chance to Paint my Moment with the colors given to me. So do you.

26 Then God said, "Let us make human beings in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created human beings in his own image, 
in the image of God he created them; 
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it was so.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning... (Gen. 1:26-31)