"Look at me, Daddy! Look at me!"
I hear it often from my children as they dance with their arms in the air, or jump or play. I love to hear them and to watch them. Despite the repetition, their need for attention really doesn't try my patience.
But why do they do that? Why are they so insistent that Julia and I watch them as they carry on their antics? I have thought about this and have decided that they cry out for validation. After all, what fun is it to explore the joys of life alone? Sharing validates these discreet moments. We are reciprocal creatures and like the interaction involved in a shared experience.
This need doesn't stop when we become adults. It is much more enjoyable to share an excellent dinner than it is to eat it alone. After the meal, we look at one another and express how much we enjoyed it. We await a response. Maybe our dinner companion will say, "Yes, it was the best dinner of the year!" Or maybe, our companion will say, "It was only pretty good." Either way, the experience is shared, the thoughts are refined and the moment is validated.
Sometimes, when bad things happen, we withhold that experience from those around us. We conceal it, because once the trauma or fear is expressed, there is a reciprocal moment that is shared. The difficulty becomes more real when it is validated by the shared experience of others.
Reciprocity is in our nature. I encourage you (and myself) to share the Joys, the fears, the troubles with those who love us. Validate your experiences and the life that you have been given through sharing.
I've always dismissed the seemingly trite question, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"
Funny. That question isn't about sound at all. It is about validation. A lonely tree, though it may have lived for decades and decades, that falls alone has no meaning. What value is an experience or, for that matter, a life, unshared? It fails validation. It is a tree falling with no one to hear.
God could have created light without mankind. Light would still have been light. But where would be the reciprocity? Who would enjoy it or even recognize it? God could have made simple animals to live and die in the light. But where would be the reciprocity? God made mankind "in his own image." That is a great "why" of Christian thought. Why did God create us in his nature? Validation? After all, what fun is it to an artist to create without an audience?
But, it doesn't end there. We are not just an audience to the grandeur of God. We have been created to have a fully matured relationship with God. A relationship in which we enjoy and receive the blessings of God. But one where God enjoys us, too. Share your triumphs and failures, all of the joys of life with your loved ones and with your God. You will find favor in his eyes.
"Look at me, Daddy! Look at me!"
3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning--the first day.
Genesis 1: 3-5
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
Genesis 1: 27
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
Psalm 25: 14-16
Be Blessed.
JDS
