On three occasions, I have had physicians somberly, even gravely break "The News" to me that I have cancer. Though they didn't tell me at the time, the first time they did so, they marked my prognosis as "Poor." (Here I am 26 years after that first diagnosis, though.)
By any measure, when "The News" is broken, these are not easy times for either you (the patient) or for your family. It's ok to feel sad or frightened. It's ok for your family to feel sad or frightened. There are a lot of questions or fears that you may not even know that you have that make matters even more difficult. You may have concerns such as:
1. Will I be able to survive this?
2. Will I be able to have a normal life?
3. Will I be able to take care of my family?
4. Will I be able to work and make a living?
5. Will I be able to afford the care and treatment?
6. Will I lose my hair?
7. Will it hurt?
8. How will it affect my long term health?
9. I don't want to be dependent on others.
10. If I die, what will happen to my family?
This time period is like seeing sunset early in the day.
It's ok to have some fears. Please, ask your doctor the questions for which you need answers. Write them out as they come to you. If you don't ask, you will live in a fog of insecurity. Your future and options will be just beyond your sight. Make sure you have the answers you need to clarify your future. Many Oncologists have support groups or mentors that are available to help you understand what is to come. Use them.
Talk your fears over with your spouse, adult children and friends. They will have concerns of their own. Don't exclude them from yourself. That is a two way road. If you try to protect them through exclusion, realize that you will be isolating them as well. Rely on one another. Don't isolate one another. You can't protect your loved ones from this, but you can involve yourselves together. The binding of that involvement is one of the blessings that come after "The News."
In the meantime, recognize that God is not through with you yet. He has a plan for you. And He will comfort you.
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come
and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me
with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29: 11-13)
Pride and efforts to handle matters alone interfere with our efforts to seek God "with all of your heart." These things are more easily stripped away after you get "The News." God will listen to you. He hears your cries. Though we too often resist, He draws us closer. Do not despair. You are not alone.
8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
(2 Corinthians 4: 8-9)
"I have some bad news. It's cancer."
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it is happening to you.
Take the time you need.
But, pressed though you may be, do not fall. Work through your hurt, confusion, and anger.
Though it is dark today, you will find the daylight.
You have purpose, you have life, you have promises. Rely on those who love you, and let them rely on you. Reach out to the Lord Your God and, with strength that is not your own, stand.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit(Psalm 34:18, NLT)
Be blessed.
JDS
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