JD Sams: July 2007 Archives

Tumbles and Sticks

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Every year the family of my mother's mother has a family reunion. We hold it in Grayson, Kentucky. Every year (almost), we attend. Like all family reunions, you see people to whom you are related. Some you know better than others. It's a little strained, because I feel attached by blood to these people, but I don't really know most of them. That is a formula that can lead to a little discomfort. Still, we like to go.

Among other things, I like to see my cousin, Kathy. Her mother is my mother's sister. Kathy was born in December and I in February of the same year. Growing up, we were next door neighbors. We went to the same elementary school. We played in the creek together. Our families were always together. We rather favor each other in appearance. So, we really grew up during those very young formative years together. Even though we don't really keep up with one another as we should, it's still never uncomfortable around Kathy. I keep a book that she wrote for me when she was in Kindergarten or first grade. It says "I Love You" with a backwards "L" on the cover. It has coloring book pages that she put together inside.

Kathy was always very, very smart and cool headed. In the winter one year, my brother, Stephen, fell into my grandparent's pool. He was 5 or 6. I ran into the house to tell my mother, aunt and grandparents. By the time we all got outside, Kathy had retrieved the pool net and reached out to Stephen and helped him back to the edge and out of the pool.

Kathy also showed me one of the single greatest expressions of loyalty that I've ever seen. When I was 12 or 13, we were walking on the ice on the creek. I had a 4 foot stick in my hand. I slipped and fell very hard on the stick. It punctured my eyelid and into the eye socket. In that moment of shock, I told her not to tell anyone what had happened. Of course, by the time I got back to the house, it was obvious that I would have to go to the hospital. On the way, I told my mother what had happened. I got stitches. The splinters were removed. We were gone for several hours. I didn't even think about telling Kathy not to tell anyone what had happened. When we came home, Kathy was in tears.
While we were gone, my grandparents and aunt were persistently trying to get Kathy to tell them what had happened. She wouldn't crack, though. It hurt her to not tell, but I had asked her not to. And she held. I loved her for that. I thought it was very brave.

This year at the family reunion, I watched my small children and the young children of my younger brother playing together on a large outdoor play set. It was very tall, maybe about 15 feet from the floor of the upper level to the ground. No safety rails. Kind of old fashioned. The kids ran up the shiny metal slides backward. For fun, they pushed each other very fast down long slides. My brother's youngest is 20 months old. He went to sit down on the long, tall slide and sat down over open air. He fell the 15 feet to the turf below and hit very hard. He cried and whimpered. We looked him over to make sure he was ok. All the brothers and sisters and cousins stopped to watch and make sure he was ok. Soon he was back at play and all was laughter again.

I watch my own small children. I know I can't keep them from falling. I'm not even sure that I want to. But, when they fall, I hope someone will be there to defend them fiercely. As they grow and play; face the joys and hardships of life, I hope that they find love and loyalty. I hope that they find people to hold on to and to hold up. I hope that their mutual loyalty will be there to define their memories and their life.

Be Blessed.

Cramps

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To me, cancer often means the same thing as cramps. Not just, "Oh gee I have a Charlie horse" cramps. I mean, pull your car over to the side of the road, double over and try to keep the alien who is popping up in the form of knots from location to location in your stomach cramps.

Late at night in November or December of last year, cramps hit me in my abdomen and legs (calves and back of the legs). They didn't build up. They just hit. I sprung up out of bed. Unfortunately, another side effect of chemotherapy (for me) is that I get light headed much more easily...like vertigo...kind of. So, add a momentary black out to the cramps in the night. My legs went out from under me, I grabbed the bed post (fairly high, so think leverage), and as my weight went to the bed post, it broke away from the bed.

Lovely. On the floor with a black out, cramps in legs and abdomen and a broken bed in the middle of the night...and I don't want to worry Julia.

There's no end to this story, the black out and cramps subsided. I stacked books under the bed frame for the next few days until I got it fixed and told Julia that I had lost my legs because of cramps. No worries.

I tell this story, because I have been taking for granted how well I feel right now. And I love it. But I also tell this story to be reminded how nice it is to feel good. It's hard to remember and appreciate even for me sometimes what a gift that is.

So...my wish for you for today is ease of breath, laughter and sensual pleasure. Ask your spouse for a foot massage. You give one, too.

Be Blessed.

JDS

About this Archive

This page is a archive of recent entries written by JD Sams in July 2007.

JD Sams: June 2007 is the previous archive.

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